


Kind Of A Meet Cute

by aliensinflowercrowns



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Also coffee shop au, Kidnapping, M/M, Violence, i promise its fluff tho, or as fluffy as i can get, spy vs spy au, srsly tho i wrote something actually fluffy, trust me it makes sense, wow i can't believe it's not angst!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-25 22:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16206953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliensinflowercrowns/pseuds/aliensinflowercrowns
Summary: taako and kravitz are spies on opposite sides. they don't know each other. yet.





	Kind Of A Meet Cute

**Author's Note:**

> things I should be doing:
> 
> studying  
> homework  
> sleeping  
> memorizing lines  
> working on the other 8 thousand wips i have
> 
> things I am doing:
> 
> this
> 
> if you guys like this premise, i could continue it as like a series of oneshots or whatever, cause i have other ideas and like a universe and such for it but it also stands alone just like this.  
> basically all you need to know is that it's a modern au, fairies v humans, taako and lup are fairies, krav is half fairy but on the side of the humans, barry is also half human half fairy.

The building was tall and imposing. Blacks and greys. The kind of place that looks like it should come with gargoyles and a personal rainstorm and crow murder. Taako let his invisibility drop. This was the kind of place that would have thermal cameras as well as visual ones. A figure standing visibly in the street was far less suspicious than one standing invisibly. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it (with a lighter - how barbaric) to complete the illusion.

Taako hated the taste of cigarettes. They reminded him of sweaty human men who kissed him too hard against scratchy concrete walls outside of shady clubs and didn’t take no for an answer until let let his glamour drop and they saw his ears, pointed like the devil, and his teeth, fanged and glittering white. Then, they ran. Taako, in his true form, was all angles. Don’t get too close, I bite.

Besides, fire and cigarettes were always Lup things. Taako was more sparkles and booze. Together, they made fireworks.

The wire in his ear crackled to life.

“Mongoose, do you read?”

Taako smiled, sharp and dangerous. Taako smiled like he had a secret. Like he knew something you didn’t.

“Loud and clear, Denim Days.”

“Don’t - Don’t call me that.”

“Why not? Isn’t this supposed to be a secure line?”

“It is. But someone could hear you. And besides, the Director said -”

“The Director. I never really liked her. Bit too big for her britches, in my opinion. We should hold a coup. What do you say, Bluejeans?”

“T–er–Mongoose, you’re only saying that cause–”

“What, cause she got my si- my _partner_ kidnapped? In her first fucking week on the job? That’s gotta be some kind of goddamn record!”

“And we’re going to get her back, if you would just focus. Are you outside the building?”

Taako sighed. Back to business. “Affirmative.”

“Ready to go in?”

“Affirmative.”

“Are you scared?”

“Fuck off, B-Red. Still a dumb nickname, be-tee-dubs.”

“Right, cause Mongoose is _such_ a good nickname.”

“Listen –”

“Are you ready?”

A slight nod, to who, Taako didn’t know. “Affirmative.”

“Let’s go get our girl.”

“Affirmative. Over and out.”

“Over and out.”

Taako pressed a finger to the soft spot behind his ear. He heard a mechanical whirring as his mask, a painstakingly curated piece of technology, recognized his fingerprint and covered his face, and gloves emerged from his bracers, locking into place and covering his hands, unable to be removed without the help of another Bureau agent. That way, even if an agent was apprehended by a hostile party, their identity–and the identity of the rest of the agency–was still safe. Taako’s mask was stylized like a Mongoose, with a little snout and a mouth with fangs, as well as two beady eyes.

He quietly cast blink, and then strode towards the building. Time to get his sister.

 

Kravitz stared at The Phoenix. It was kind of unsettling, the stylized bird mask grafted onto a (semi) human body. The goddamned mask. He’d tried everything to get it off, short of cutting off her entire head. She was grinning, he could tell. Even though he couldn’t see her face he could just feel it. She radiated smugness. You would’ve thought he was the one in captivity.

“Why don’t you take a picture, Skelator?” She asked, her voice gravelly and robotic, distorted by the voice changing technology in the mask. “It’ll last you longer.”

Kravitz didn’t dignify that with a response. He fiddled with his cufflinks. His own mask, much less advanced, as the Astral Republic’s engineers didn’t have access to magic, looked like a skull, same as every other agent. He fought the urge to fiddle with it, as well. He was _The Reaper_ for God’s sake. He shouldn’t be so unnerved by this one prisoner.

But this was a big deal. The Phoenix had been in captivity for almost a week now, and no one had been able to get anything out of her. This was the first Bureau of Balance Agent they’d managed to apprehend. Ever. This small group of fairy insurgents had been a thorn in their side for far too long, and that was why they sent in Kravitz.

He studied The Phoenix again. She wasn’t in great condition. She was wearing nothing but a sports bra and black shorts. And, of course, the black leather gloves. Great for climbing, focusing magic, staying anonymous, and of course, fucking impossible to get off. There were bruises all over her stomach and legs. He could see dried blood that had dripped from under her mask to the base of her neck. At least two of her fingers were broken. She was covered in small cuts and scars, some of them new, some of them old, like someone had just gone crazy on the “gore” slider of video game customization.

And still, that fucking smile. That fucking smugness.

They’d been able to pull her wire pretty easily, but it had disintegrated before the lab had been able to properly look at it. Probably some sort of remote detonation.

“So,” Kravitz said, the first time he’d spoken since coming in. “You’re The Phoenix.”

The Phoenix laughed. “There’s no need for the article, darling. It’s just Phoenix. But I can neither confirm nor deny my identity as Phoenix. Actually, I can. I deny it. I’m not her. Although I hear she is very attractive and powerful and good in bed, so maybe that will help your investigation.”

“You’re not the… you’re wearing a phoenix mask.”

“Am I? Weird.”

“Listen, kid–”

“I’m _not_ a kid–”

“This is going to go a lot easier if you tell me what I want to know.”

“And what is that?”

“Who runs the Bureau of Balance?”

Phoenix was quiet for a second. “The…” She said, her voice small. “The Bureau of Balance?” Kravitz could tell she was looking him in the eye. “What’s that? I’ve never heard of it.”

Familiar flames of rage licked the bottom of Kravitz’s gut.

“Listen, Phoenix. You can keep denying and lying all you want, but what’s the point? It’s just going to go worse for you. They’re not coming for you. It’s been… six days now? Don’t you think they would’ve come for you by now. One of their top agents. And… nothing. No loyalty at all. If they’re not loyal to you, why should you be loyal to them?”

Phoenix looked at him. Studied him. “You’re The Reaper, right?”

“Yes.”

“The guy that they send in when they need the job done?”

He raised one eyebrow.

“Cause if you’re the best that the Astral Republic has to offer… well shit. This torture is gonna be easier than I thought.”

Kravitz didn’t react. Time for a different tactic.

“Or maybe,” He said. “Maybe they have already come for you. Maybe your precious Bureau has been sending agent after agent to come and rescue you, their precious Phoenix. Their friend. And maybe we’ve apprehended all of them, just like we apprehended you. Maybe they’ve all been given the same treatment.”

He leaned in, looking where he assumed her eyes would be. Fairy eyes. Dark pits with a thousand different fractals and lenses, like flies. _Like him_ . “Do you think they’re all as strong as you, Phoenix? That they can take the same pain, the same beatings? How long until they give in, tell us what we want? How long until they give up? After all, what’s one more dead fairy. Maybe we’ve got one in the room right next to you. We’ve got him tied up. Hands bound and shackled. We’ve got him, skin peppered with bruises and cuts, gasping in pain. Alone. Afraid. Screaming and screaming. Screaming for _you_.”

Kravitz heard the smallest of sound escape from Phoenix.

“And you can make it all stop. Tell me what I want to know and we’ll release him.”

“You don’t have anyone. You’re lying.”

“Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. If we can get one jewel in the Bureau’s crown, what’s to say we can’t get another. Your partner–”

“I don’t have a partner.”

“Mongoose.”

And then the room exploded.

 

Taako was not, all in all, a fan of vents. Getting in the building was pretty easy. He’d blinked through the walls, handled the various traps and security cameras and such with practiced expertise, no big, but the _vent_ . Goddamn, the _vent_.

Now, normally, there was no reason to be in a vent. Crawling around in vents was reserved for television spies. Any menacing building worth its salt was so decked out in security that hiding in the vent would give about as much cover as standing in the hallway saying “HEY! I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! BE SUSPICIOUS OF ME!”

But for this specific mission, vent-lurking was necessary. Taako had already neutralized the guards and Barry was looping the security and the Bureau was doing a thousand other things to make this mission work. But Taako had to be in the vent, knowing that his sister was right down there,

Taako stared down at the bomb in his hands. Usually Lup was their D-Man, but for obvious reasons, Barry and Taako had taken care of this one, with a little help from Lup’s notes (they were the only ones who could read her cipher). It wasn’t a Lup Original, but it would do the job.

The bomb was a tricky marriage between science and magic, engineering and arcana, chemicals and evocation spells. A bit of sulfur here, some delayed fireball there, the words. Not so much to kill, more of a big ol’ flashbang.

“Red?” Taako whispered. “Do you copy?”

“Affirmative.”

Deep breath. Small smile. “Phoenix rising.”

 

Chaos. Red and orange and the smell of smoke infecting Kravitz’s lungs. He blindly flailed his arms, trying to grab onto something, to some _one_. How did this happen? This building was supposed to be completely secure. This was their closest opportunity in months–

The smoke began to clear. Kravitz coughed a few times, and checked to make sure his mask was completely secure, before turning to the table. To Phoenix. Except, it wasn’t Phoenix.

“Mongoose?” Kravitz said, so surprised he dropped his accent.

“In the flesh! Our intel said you were British.”

“I… I am.”

Mongoose tilted his head, and Kravitz imagined he was raising an eyebrow.

“Whatever you say, hot stuff.”

“Hot stuff? I’m… I’m wearing a mask.”

“Yeah, but I can see the muscles under the suit.”

“Are you - are you _flirting…_ this is - where is _Phoenix_!”

“Why do you wanna talk to her? I’m way more fun. ‘Sides, what’s the difference between one Bureau agent and another? Although, if we’re being honest, I’m _way_ more fun. ‘Nix is much more, punch punch bang bang spells spells. I appreciate a good _conversation_.”

“Why would… why would they go through the trouble to rescue one agent if they were just going to leave another… wait a minute–” Kravitz reached forward and grabbed at the collar of the Mongoose’s (very) shapely recon gear.

“Whoa, whoa, at least buy me dinner first!”

His hand passed right through.

“Goddammit!” He slammed his hands on the table. An illusion.

Mongoose cackled. “Whoopsie!” He said. “Point one for the B.o.B. Until next time, Reaper Man.”

And then he disappeared. And Kravitz was left, alone and charred, and thoroughly fucked.

 

Taako was cackling when he broke concentration. Lup knew by instinct once he grabbed her to cast Blink on the both of them and carry him out of there while he cast Greater Image to distract the Reaper. They were on the other side of town at this point, jumping into the getaway car headed by Sloane.

“Can you help me out with this?” Lup asked, after he’d completely come back to himself.

Taako smiled, happy to have her back.

“Sure thing.”

He put his left point finger to the soft spot behind her right ear, and his right pointer finger to the soft spot behind his right ear. She mirrored him. They closed their eyes and sent a hum of magic through their hands. Their masks melted away, and they stared at each other, at the face they shared. Lup smiled. She looked awful. A black eye, cuts and blood all over the side of her face. A split lip.

She put her forehead against Taako’s. He leaned into the embrace. They sat like that for a moment, breathing together.

“Glad to have you back,” Taako said, voice quiet and choked up.

“Thanks for saving me,” Lup said.

“Hey,” Taako said, looking her in the eyes. “I’m always gonna be there to save you, goofus. Womb to tomb, baby.”

“Womb to tomb.”

 

*

 

Sweets Over The Moon was Kravitz’s favorite coffee shop. Sure, it was a little closer a known Fairy District than he would prefer, but they had the best god damned pastries known to man. It was run by a young woman named Lucretia, and there were a lot of regulars that Kravitz recognized every time he came in. A kid who liked to sit at the window reading a book, a plain looking guy who was usually seated at a table near the coffee bar working on his computer. Sometimes two short, older men would sit and play chess. The guy who liked to play the violin over by the couches. Kravitz wasn’t sure if he was paid to do that or if he just kind of did.

And, of course, the people behind the counter. There was Lucretia, though she was rarely actually working behind the counter, Avi, who ran the till (although sometimes it was a nice lady named Carey), Killian and Julia who made the drinks, Magnus, who seemed to mostly just stock shelves, although from his build Kravitz would guess he was also the handyman, and the twins, who seemed to preside over the entire operation. He was pretty sure they made the pastries and came up with the recipes for all the drinks. They could also often be seen shooing Julia or Killian away from a latte so that they could make art in the cups. Kravitz wasn’t sure of their names, just that there was a boy one and a girl one and that he would occasionally ogle the boy when he was actually on the floor rather than yelling from the kitchen.

The day after the Phoenix and Mongoose Debacle, Kravitz decided to treat himself before work, as he was probably going to be walking directly into the line of fire, and he deserved a latte and a sugar cookie. Someone at the shop must’ve been an artist, because the sugar cookies always had these intricate icing designs, and the icing was a bunch of different flavors that all complimented each other.

But when Kravitz walked into the shop, it was different than usual. There was the kid sitting in the window sill, although he wasn’t reading, he seemed to be asleep, with what looked to be a hand knitted quilt tucked around him, and his book sitting next to him, a bookmark placed in it and his glasses atop the cover. The man was still in the corner with his violin, although he wasn’t playing, he was eating a muffin. But the plain man and his laptop were nowhere to be found.

And there was only one person behind the counter. One of the twins. The boy, it seemed. His hair was done up in a high ponytail and he wasn’t wearing an apron, just some short shorts that said “Art Thou Nasty?” on the ass and a sequin tank top with a skull on it.

When Kravitz walked in, the little bell tinkled loudly through the shop, and the boy twin and violin man both seemed to start.

“Fuck!” The boy twin said. “Johann, did you not flip the sign to closed?”

“I did!” The violin man–Johann, apparently–said. So he did work there. “I just… I didn’t lock the door.”

“I’m sorry,” Kravitz said. “I didn’t… I must not have read the sign. I could’ve sworn you guys are usually open at this time.”

“We are,” The boy twin said. “It’s just… uh… we all kind of partied super hard last night and didn’t feel like opening up today.” He laughed. Kravitz could tell that he was lying, but didn’t see any reason to call him out. Maybe there was a family emergency he didn’t want to talk about with a total stranger. Kravitz understood.

“Well, I’ll just be on my way then–” Kravitz started.

“Nah,” The boy twin said. “I can make you a coffee. I was just in here cleaning up some shit and… whatever. It won’t take too long. What’ll you have?”

“Oh, um,” Kravitz walked up to the counter. “Just a latte. And, uh, a sugar cookie, if it isn’t too much.”

“Sugar cookie and a latte, gotcha.” He winked.

“How much do I owe you?”

The boy twin waved his hand. “It’s on the house.”

“No, really, please–”

“No, my dude, I’m feeling generous today.”

Kravitz pointedly stuck a twenty in the tip jar. The boy twin laughed and rolled his eyes, starting to make the latte, his hips swaying to some music only he could hear.

“One latte and a sugar cookie for the hot little number in the black suit!” He called out a minute later.

Kravitz blushed as he accepted the drink and treat.

“Have a good day,” He said, nodding at the boy twin.

“You too,” He responded, with another wink. “Hey, Johann, lock the door this time! Next customer might not be as cool as this one.”

It wasn’t until he was halfway down the street that Kravitz noticed something scrawled on the side of his cup, in hot pink pen.

 

_You’re hot, I’m hot, this latte is hot, life is short. Call me sometime?_

_\- Taako (567) 913 4202_

 

 

Kravitz smiled, the steam not the only thing making his face warm. This could be the start of something very interesting.

 

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: @deadlily (usually it's @aliensinflowercrowns but it's @deadlily for halloween)  
> twitter: @kathisntvalid


End file.
